Tomorrow you will be 4 and I wanted to tell you some things... You won't probably read this until you are much older but I have to record even for my own sake so I won't forget the wonderful things in my life because of you. Since you were born I have had sand in my bed, rocks in my bed, rocks in my washer, rocks in my dryer, rocks in my shoes, rocks in my pockets, toys in my car, my bed, my kitchen, my porch, my clothes, trucks in my cupboards, giggles in the mornings, trucks in my dish water, loads and loads of very dirty clothes, puke on my table, puke on my rug, sink parts down the drain, water all over the floor, mud puddles in my house, bike skid marks on my floor, water all over the walls, other brown material all over the walls, books in my bed, Moo in my bed, Bunny in my bed, rolls of toilet paper unrolled into the toilet, crumbs in all kinds of cracks, sticky hands smeared on my face and my hair, smelly feet in my face, cold feet on my back, boogers wiped in places other than a tissue, tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of worry, some nights without much sleep, some days when I could have worn earplugs all day, and other things mothers of boys have. But all these things and more are what make me smile everyday, and your smile, your laugh, your words, your creativity, I'm amazed day by day at what a great gift you are and you may never understand how much I love you, until maybe the day you have children of your own. You are kind and forgiving, even when other kids have not been kind or forgiving. You are generous with your affection and your helping hands. You are always eager to say hi to everyone, even if they don't look at you or hear you. I love that you notice the little things, and I'm trying to cherish the little kid things you do before you're all grown up and too mature to do them anymore. You have a great memory and sense of direction. I don't think you ever forget a person, and you break the silent tense awkwardness with strangers with your friendly "HI!" to everyone you meet. Your language is changing daily, and I kinda miss the days when you called monkeys, mee-moos, and flowers, fhoo-fhoos. It stills makes my day when I hear you say copcorn, or when you see a whirl iffin around the yard. Hahaha. You are such a good big brother, always trying to comfort your sister, talking to her, bringing her toys, swinging her in her swing, patting her hair down, or tickling her. I have seen you just this week protecting her (from Chile), and proud of her (telling people out and about that you have a baby sister named...) I wouldn't trade you for a thing, there is no one else that I wish was my son, I am so glad that God gave us you, just as you are, and just as you will be. He made you, little love, and he knows you and loves you more than Daddy-o or I even could. As much as I would love to always have a great relationship with you, what I desire more is for you to have a great relationship with your heavenly Father and Jesus Christ the Lord over all. That is really all that matters anyway. Friends and family just weren't made to be everything for you, but Christ was, so I will pray today and everyday that you go to him, inquire of Him, know Him, love Him, trust Him, put your hope in Him, listen to Him, believe Him, rest in Him, and speak of Him to everyone you know. He will not disappoint, and what he has is eternal. I love you little man and I am so blessed to see you unfold and grow like a beautiful garden, bearing good things. 4 years ago today I was in labor with you and had not a clue what I was getting into doing this parenting thing, but there is no place I would rather be, and nothing else I would rather do. If nothing else, the Lord is stripping me of my selfishness so He can be glorified in losing myself to what he has called me to....the high calling of parenthood. I trust Him with you and know you are in good hands, someday you must entrust yourself to Him too. If my love for you is like a crazy rushing river in the springtime, I can't imagine what God's love for you is really like. Know this--the Lord is good. Better than the best thing you have ever known or experienced. You know I'm a rambler, so I'll stop with hopes that someday you will read this and understand. I love you more than sunshine, sleeping in, ice cream, knitting, a hot tub, a woodstove, homemade gifts, dark chocolate, a hike in the mountains, or fresh raspberries.
Love,
Your Mama (and dance partner, for now)
So sweet. Love it. :)
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